My Autistic Brother’s Quest For Love

And there are always challenges and benefits to each person you date. For instance, autistic people tend to be particularly honest, reliable, and loyal — some of the most important traits for a long-term relationship. You may just need to be more direct when communicating than you are used to and be prepared to give your partner space when they feel overstimulated. All relationships present their own unique set of challenges that tend to require some adapting. Although everyone is different, some common challenges present themselves when dating an autistic person.

Is It Hard To Date Someone With Autism?#

They might focus on their interests and talk about them for hours, forgetting to listen to yours. They expect their date to be as interested in their hobbies as they are, and they might often act rude if you interrupt them or want to talk about a different topic. They won’t hesitate to tell you that your topic is boring. Don’t take offense if they don’t seem interested in the things they love.

In situations where a person on the autism spectrum is stressed, s/he can more easily experience sensory overload and, as a result, shut down or possibly experience a “meltdown”. A self-aware adult on the autism spectrum can usually recognize early warning signs and develop strategies to exit and calm down. Both partners who are aware of this can work together, so that both are accommodated.

I’m really good at learning other people’s quirks and what is and is not okay for them, so we would probably get along really well. Again, it is different for each case what is and is not shown and needed, so it would depend on the person, but it would not be an immediate no, for sure. The characteristics of the autism spectrum are diametrally opposed to what I require from a partner. My brother has Asperger’s, and it’s been nothing but a lifetime of difficulties between us. But, some people I know do not feel good about the relationship, particularly my family, because of a 16 year age gap between me and her. We are both of legal age, so nothing illegal is going on.

They might find impromptu dates or surprises stressful and not appreciate them. Ensure that you plan a date that fits in their routine and does not disturb it in any way. Dating someone with the autism spectrum may not be easy.

Why Sibling Experiences Are So Different From One Another

I tried some of these tactics and found they not only help me cope with some of the ASD distance feelings but allows me to let her know I really love her and respect her situation. AngelSense is committed to creating a safer world for those with special needs and providing peace of mind to their families. This Autism Acceptance Month, we are offering the AngelSense Device for FREE.

Apparent lack of support

Working on the skills and knowing goals and what they have planned for their future could help the individual with autism know what kind of partner they are looking for. Being authentic with themselves and their date is the best way to start an experience and for it to be what they are expecting. It can be a lot of fun to go out on a date, but making sure to maintain personal safety while getting to know each other is key.

Explaining Autism To Children

I read a lot of things that say people like me don’t have or show feelings or don’t care. The experience for me is that I do have feelings and they are often very intense but people think that I don’t because they stay inside. People with autism oftentimes develop intense interests, and it’s important to understand that most of their time will be spent focused on their interests. When they talk to people, they often want to talk about these interests, often for long periods of time, with the expectation that everyone will be as interested in their hobbies as they are. If someone cuts them off and starts talking about a different topic, they can be very blunt and will let people know how boring they are. With patience and practice, this can improve over time as they learn to listen, understand another person’s point of view and vary their conversation topics.

When my second child Max was born he just lit up my life. I remember when my next door neighbor reached for him and I pulled away like she was crazy and filthy. I just wouldn’t let people hold him at first; he was all mine. Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles.

That’s because, on their 22nd birthday, people with autism suddenly lose their entitlement to services under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act and enter the much chancier world of adult loveconnectionreviews services. It may make it harder to find and keep friends or romantic partners. It may make it almost impossible to land and keep a job that requires a high level of social or planning skills.