Why Do Women Flake?

Yes, I may give you my number and I might have seemed a 6 or 7 into you during our first interaction. There’s always a guy in her life that she’ll dump all other plans for, and you could be dealing with a “testing the waters” situation. It’s not necessarily her boyfriend, but the guy she’s been obsessed with for however long, for whatever reasons.

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We call these guys “orbiters,” stuck in satellite forever- YEARS- believing that one day, maybe just one day, they’ll catch me at an off moment and score with me. I personally have never hooked up with any of my 7 or 8 orbiters. It’s your job to keep the line of interest running strong, and to secure a date within a pretty quick time frame without risking the fade-out and fizzle. The initial excitement she felt at the prospect of going out with you has faded as her lifestyle has gotten in the way and you haven’t intercepted. Man this is exactly where I am at the moment as well with a girl who once was a plate who I was fucking and now is married. She still comes around, is all over my nuts and teases me but has a really hard time not flaking and not committing to sex with me.

The day of, it was “Oh I’m sosorry, but I’m actually busy today. Your voice mails are never being returned. You’re shouting impotently into the void, hoping for an answer. I was sick and tired of being flaked on, especially by women I met through dating apps online, so I sought out to find a solution for myself… and I did. I ended up marrying my dream girl and before that I had so many options that I was the one typically doing the flaking.

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That’s true, they could have other things going on in their lives that could keep them off OKC for a while. It’s just a bit disheartening when every time you log on you see that they’re also online. I’ve flaked out on women that I wasn’t as interested in and I’m sure some women have flaked out on me as well. To me, if someone doesn’t want to be in contact sweetsext with you, then they don’t want to be in contact with you. Other methods of contact forcing someone to take calls/etc they’d rather avoid doesn’t in my mind equal a better realm for dating- they’d still not want to do it. Anna Medaris Miller is a writer and editor in New York City who has years of experience reporting and writing on various health topics.

Two times in a row I invited her over to my place and she accepted, only to back out at the last minute . The third time we actually met and hooked up. I invited her over again a few days later and again she flaked, so I wrote her off. Yeah, this is why I extend the getting-to-know-you period out a while. A lot of guys will say to message someone back and forth for no longer than 4 messages before asking to meet up, but honestly I think this gives you a very shallow idea of the person. I’ve been in situations where myself and the girl are very busy so we can’t meet up for 2-3 weeks, but we text and chat in the meantime to build a rapport, and then things still don’t work out.

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This is the opposite of the flaky guy who happily talks the talk, but whose empty words fail, time and time again, to manifest into anything tangible. Either he is cowardly and selfish or possibly unhealed still from past experiences and so not ready or able to fully connect. He will leave you feeling emotionally insecure, uncertain of his true intent and continually second guessing yourself. There is no fun in being that girl who constantly oscillates between a rush of excitement and anxiety-ridden confusion in response to his self-serving, sporadic behavior.

It’s an abrupt and unexpected stop to a courtship. Unprepared guys who react in a wrong and uncalibrated manner will find that the opportunity is suddenly gone. However, if the slow fade triggers a disinterest on your end , confront the person by noting the shift in communication, what that signals to you, and why you’re not into that, Tcharkhoutian says. Slow faders will keep you around, but they won’t prioritize you. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to have no one («People don’t like to be alone,» Forness says); maybe it’s because you seem like someone they should be dating.

Instead, I speak of the crumbliest, flakiest guy – a phenomenon now all too commonplace thanks to smartphones, online dating apps, and social media. In the pre-smartphone era, it took courage, effort, and vulnerability to strike up a conversation with that guy or girl who caught your attention. Now all it requires is a quick search on social media and a few seconds to type a light and breezy message, then hit send and test the water. For the guy with a flaky tendency, it is very easy to connect and seemingly pursue a girl from the hidden safety of texts. The day arrives and soon excitement gives way to disappointment as he texts to cancel. “Sorry, I’ve got to work,” or “Sorry, my friend is going through a tough time and needs me right now.” This is the calibre of excuse ordinarily given by flaky guys.

We again went to my place and fucked, this time she took off right after we were done saying she needed a good nights sleep. This girl is serious about meeting someone and this time no other guy beat you to it. She just wasn’t all that into you and/or she was multiple dating and decided she liked one of the other guys better. I guess I’m a bit guilty of flaking, too, but that’s usually on a dating site if a girl isn’t straightforward in their profile.

Respect yourself and your time, and don’t act servile towards people who don’t respect you and your time. Not only will pursuing unappreciative people make you unhappy, it won’t even get you laid. The way to deal with a flaky person is to not continue pursuing them.

Let them know that you don’t stand for flaking. The women that matter will communicate with you often. It’s just a part of life that is full of uncertainty. Can try to increase odds by improving yourself. Can think of it like trying to dig for gold, there’s going to be a lot of scrap metal found in the process. I personally see no direct link between whether she’ll ghost and her appearance, I just feel like most girls, hot or not ghost, regardless.